how much i miss this feeling

how much i miss the feeling to being love & in love with somebody? A LOT.

damn, i open up one of my friend's friendster page, she's actly my friend from high school. & i've been jelous towards her. so much. she had a lovely boyfriend. yeah. A BOYFRIEND. & how much i miss that. seeing their pictures together is just like i'm almost crying the whole night. it's not the matter i crush with her bf but it's the feeling i need someone that is really fullfill the criteria to be my boyfriend.

& shit, the whole life i only accept people who love me & just ignore about whether he fullfilled my criteria or not.

BUT HOW LONG I HAVE TO SACRIFICE? my heart are bleeding & no one can fix in. no one. my bestfriend said i'm stupid coz still loving him after almost 4 years. without him even care about me. he knows i love him, i stalk him. & the most sad thing is he delete me from his myspace. & i can't even see his face again. NEVER. & he was my crush since i was form 3 until now, i'm 19. & he is HAZIM. (i berani type out his name coz die takkan baca pun my blog.huhu)

jangan putus asa. kerna kita nggak tau apa akan jadi esok hari.

maybe die takkan pernah tahu berapa lame aku tunggu die.berapa lama aku ingat the way he talk, laugh. maybe dia takkan pernah tahu ade perempuan yang sanggup tunggu die. die takkan tahu. dan takkan pernah tahu. dan dia takkan pernah tahu 4 tahun aku ingat birthday die. & i will always remeber it.forever baby.FOREVER.